generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

handpickedhappiness:

thevoxbox:

charlesoberonn:

giftvvrap:

will you marry me = a marriage proposal
will, you, Mary, me = a foursome proposal

Will you, Mary me = Cavewoman Mary helps Will recover from his Amnesia

Will, you marry me. = Will’s time-traveling partner

And people keep trying to tell me that punctuation isn’t important

buzzfeed:

We should all stop using this website. 

"High school, it seems, has changed. It has become competitive. Young men and women — 13 to 18 years old — must work more or less tirelessly to ensure their spot at a college deemed worthy to them and their families. So rather than living their adolescent lives — lives brimming with desires and vitality, with vim, vigor, and brewing lust — these kids are working at old age homes, cramming for tests, popping Adderall just to make the literal and proverbial grade. And for what? So they can go to a school that puts them in debt for the rest of their lives. School has become a great vehicle of capitalism: it quashes the revolution implicit in adolescence while simultaneously fomenting perpetual indebtedness."
-

Daniel Coffeen  (via perfect)

finally someone has put my thoughts into words

(via occceanic)

flawfulbelle:

herhmione:

the thing i regret the most about getting a tumblr is that suddenly i’m staying up all night on this website instead of staying up all night reading a book

This is the most accurate thing I’ve ever read.

awwww-cute:

This little guy came nosing around a friend’s patio door

awwww-cute:

This little guy came nosing around a friend’s patio door

circumcisions:

circumcisions:

sluttyoliveoil:

hey someone told me you remind them of an owl

who

FUCK

dick-rider-dave-strider:

dick-rider-dave-strider:

grandmoms are precious and must be protected at all costs

i told her i was posting this on tumblr and she said “let me know how many hits i get!!!” so just watch this and make an old woman happy

prayersformypelvus:

awroof:

pandifreyan:

chacha-again:

sizvideos:

Who needs traffic lights? Not the drivers in Ethiopia - Video

This made me so uncomfortable.

I dont understand…

dodge level: 2hu

I could not. I would not.

6qubed:

youknowyouarerussianwhen:

This professor could not find a projector and drew the map of the world himself.

he is too powerful
he must be contained before explosions

6qubed:

youknowyouarerussianwhen:

This professor could not find a projector and drew the map of the world himself.

he is too powerful

he must be contained before explosions

willyciraptor:

circlebutt:

helpihavedementia:

brogigayo:

ticktaec:

tyleroakley:

My body is ready.

I know it’s mashed potatoes and gravy but is it bad that I thought it was ice cream and caramel?

 …it is ice cream and caramel
why would anyone put mashed potatoes and gravy in an apple

fucking what



did the tumblr community bully someone away about fucking food

willyciraptor:

circlebutt:

helpihavedementia:

brogigayo:

ticktaec:

tyleroakley:

My body is ready.

I know it’s mashed potatoes and gravy but is it bad that I thought it was ice cream and caramel?

 …it is ice cream and caramel

why would anyone put mashed potatoes and gravy in an apple

fucking what

image

did the tumblr community bully someone away about fucking food

lumpyspacelion:

Brb moving to Giethoorn

bombingprimrose:

malfoydracoi:

bombingprimrose:

malfoydracoi:

herhmione:

it pisses me off how writing doesn’t get people money unless they’re like jk rowling like writing books should be one of the highest paying jobs in the world that shit is hard

i bet that open heart surgeries are harder

Open heart surgeries can be taught. You can’t teach a person a world that no one else has created.

you won this time. 

image

American MMFD →

alabasterdaisies:

  • Rae will be a ‘plus size’ size 8 (12 UK)
  • Finn will be unrealistically good looking
  • Chloe will be unrealistically good looking
  • lol is Chop even gonna be on the show? No idea how they will Americanize his character…
  • Archie is going to become a walking stereotype
  • Izzy is going to become…

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